Football season is upon us, which means that thousands of angry, horny, feisty pretend fans will converge upon this great nation's red cup-littered parking lots to participate in traditional tailgating revelry. We do not want those stories. Not at all. • I do not want to hear about the tricked out party bus you fashioned out of an ice cream truck and painted blue and red for your beloved Buffalo Bills. • I do not want to hear about how your uncle's truck has a thirty-foot smoker attached to the hitch to he drags to each Texas Tech game to smoke a live pig. • I don't want to hear about corn-holing — unless there's a unique angle to it and/or someone gets hospitalized. So, to sum up, no obvious stuff you'll see every dopey local low-level sports anchor in America run out to the parking lot to shoot before every college/pro game. Your stories should include fighting, vomiting, arrests, blood, heads dunked in chili pots, naked people and other bodily functions that may or may not be covered in the above restrictions. You know — stuff that's only fun to share with your friends or on YouTube under an anonymous name. Photos/video evidence are not required but encouraged. We plan to run these every Friday afternoon. If you'd like credit, I'll be happy to add it. Email me with any questions, concerns, or stories. SUBJECT: FAILgate. At the end of the season, the winning — or, rather, most popular — submission will be rewarded a Deadspin prize pack. God knows what's in that. ***** Thanks for your continued support of Deadspin. Carry on, wayward sons. Relatedsportsbooks for footballnfl sportsbooksbet on college footballnew nba betting sitesmlb betsnhl betsportsbooks for ufcsoccer propslatest copa america lines
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Ronald Koeman is hopeful that striker Romelu Lukaku will be fit to face Bournemouth in the Premier League on Saturday.
The Belgium forward, who has been linked with the likes of Manchester United and Bayern Munich, missed Tuesday s EFL Cup loss to Norwich City due to an injured toe.
Koeman confirmed he trained alone on Thursday, but said the 23-year-old would likely be ready play a part on the south coast.
He did training separate to the group today [Thursday] and we expect him to train normally in the morning, he said. If that happens, he will be fit for the weekend.
Asked whether there had been any progress regarding a new contract for Lukaku, the Dutchman added: No, I don t know at the moment. It s not my job.
The surprise 2-0 loss to the Ca…
England boss Roy Hodgson has warned that tonight s game against San Marino may not be a goal feast
England boss Roy Hodgson has warned Three Lions fans that tonight’s Euro 2016 qualifier against San Marino may not be a ‘goal feast’, despite the fact that San Marino are the rated as the joint-worst team in the world rankings alongside Bhutan.
Cautious
The England boss was cautious in his latest press conference.
He told : We re not trying to play anything down, but I must also say we re not trying to suggest this is going to be a goal feast. It might, but it might well not be.
As I ve said in my programme notes, it s one of these games where you do rely on a lot of people s understanding of the situation and understanding of the game.
…
Liverpool are set to turn their attention to Ezequiel Lavezzi after their attempts to sign Edinson Cavani spurned by Paris Saint Germain, .
Cavani had been top of Brendan Rodgers wish list, though PSG president has insisted that the Uruguay international will remain at the club through the next transfer window.
Lavezzi, who switched to Paris from Napoli a year before Cavani made the same move, has started just two league games this season and could be allowed to make way in January.
In total, the 29 year old has made ninety appearances in all competitions for PSG, scoring twenty-three goals and was part of the squads the won back to back league titles in 2012 and 2013.
Laurent Blanc’s side currently sit third in the French top flight, seven points…
Coach Slaven Bilic named a full-strength Croatia squad on Monday for upcoming World Cup 2010 qualifiers against Belarus and England early next month.
Croatia face Belarus at home on September 5 before travelling to London for a showdown with England four days later.
Bilic s 24-man squad features several players from the English Premier League including the in-form Tottenham midfielder Luka Modric and Brazil-born Arsenal striker Eduardo Da Silva.
The only player missing is defender Robert Kovac due to an injury. The Dinamo Zagreb veteran was not expected to make the starting line-up for the two qualifiers for the 2010 World Cup in South Africa.
After seven matches, Croatia sit second in World Cup qualifying Group Six on 14 points, seven behind leaders Eng…
Borussia Dortmund star Marco Reus has passed his driving test – two years after he was hit with a massive fine for using a fake licence.
The Germany international was found to have been using a counterfeit Dutch licence when he was pulled over by police in November 2014. A Dortmund court fined him €540,000 for the offence.
Reus was forced to sit out Euro 2016 after struggling with a groin injury in the latter stages of the 2015-16 season, but it would appear he has made effective use of his time.
According to reports in Germany, Reus passed his theory and practical examinations on Monday and and he collected his licence prior to Dortmund training early on Tuesday.
Yes, it s true that I ve passed my driving test, he told Bild after driving to train…
Shinji Kagawa helped himself to a first-half brace and Andre Schurrle scored a maiden Borussia Dortmund goal as Thomas Tuchel s side eased to a 3-0 DFB-Pokal win at Eintracht Trier.
Dortmund s fourth-tier opponents famously subjected them to a 2-1 defeat in this competition back in 1997, but there was never the slightest hint of a repeat after Tuchel named a strong line-up and was rewarded by a dominant display.
Kagawa could find his place under threat from Mario Gotze this season following the latter s return from Bayern Munich, but, with the 2014 World Cup winner sidelined due to a minor thigh complaint, the Japanese took the opportunity to impress.
Gotze s compatriot Schurrle, a close-season recruit from Wolfsburg, was involved in much of Dortmund s impress…
It looked like 10-man Fulham were going to keep Chelsea frustrated until Mason Mount intervened.
The midfielder fired home with 12 minutes remaining to secure a 1-0 victory, just the Blues second in their past seven Premier League games.
It was fitting that Mount proved the match-winner following another exemplary display in the Chelsea midfield, settling the contest with his second goal from outside the box this season.
The 22-year-old has 11 goals and 10 assists in 78 career appearances as a Premier League player for Chelsea. At the same age, Lampard (for West Ham) had scored 18 times and set up a further eight, but having played 44 further matches.
Ahead of Tuesday s trip to Leicester City, the Chelsea boss said of his struggling stars: There are thin…
Milan came from behind to clinch a hard-fought 1-1 draw at Salzburg in their Champions League opener, as Alexis Saelemaekers cancelled out a superb solo goal from Noah Okafor.
Okafor s outstanding strike gave Salzburg the lead midway through an evenly matched first half, only for Saelemaekers to smash home an equaliser shortly before the break on Tuesday.
Stefano Pioli s men failed to build on the Belgium international s effort but almost grabbed a stoppage-time winner through Rafael Leao, who was denied by the frame of the goal.
Having failed to escape the group stages in the Champions League last season, however, the Serie A champions may still be relieved to escape without defeat ahead of meetings with Dinamo Zagreb and Chelsea.
Both sides created open…
Brazil are champions of the 2009 South American Sub-20 Championships as the only remaining rivals, Uruguay, were held to a 2-2 draw by Paraguay.
Jonathan Urretaviscaya put Uruguay in the lead after 13 minutes but two goals from Aldo Paniagua, both in the first half, turned things around in Paraguay s favor.
Santiago Garcia scored back for Uruguay on 73 minutes but it wasn t enough to win this match and keep pressure on final group leaders Brazil.
For Brazil, this is their tenth Sudamericano Sub-20 title after 1974, 1983, 1985, 1988, 1991, 1992, 1995, 2001 and 2007.
…
A Nigerian football star sentenced to 40 lashes in Sudan for driving under the influence of alcohol insisted on Thursday on his innocence and said he could not imagine himself being flogged.
I am not guilty of this crime and I cannot even imagine myself being flogged so I don t put my mind there, said Stephen Worgu, 20, who plays for Sudanese first division outfit al-Merreikh of Omdurman, Khartoum s twin city.
On Tuesday, a Khartoum court condemned the young footballer to 40 lashes and ordered him to pay a fine of 50 Sudanese pounds (20 dollars) for alcohol consumption and 200 Sudanese pounds for driving under the influence.
Article 78 of the penal code in the conservative, mainly Muslim state forbids alcohol consumption.
Worgu, a Nigerian Christian who…